Just avoid clinging to thought ~ Dogen Zenji
Above all, don’t wish to become a future Buddha;
Your only concern should be,
As thought follows thought,
To avoid clinging to any of them.
quoted in the book “The Practical Peacemaker: How Simple Living Makes Peace Possible”
The point of training in higher knowledge is not to become a container of facts or a believer in any particular philosophical system. The whole point is to clearly see what is truth and what is illusion in how we live. It means we understand the relationship of cause and effect, and we see how it functions in our life. We see that suffering is the natural result of a certain cause and that ultimately that cause is our self-clinging. We see that happiness is the result of a certain cause and that ultimately that cause is transcending our self-clinging.
from the book “Rebel Buddha: On the Road to Freedom”
Benefits of an altruistic attitude ~ 14th Dalai Lama
Happiness arises as a result of different causes and conditions. If you harm someone out of anger, you may feel some superficial satisfaction, but deep down you know it was wrong. Your confidence will be undermined. However, if you have an altruistic attitude, you’ll feel comfortable and confident in the presence of others.
14th Dalai Lama
When someone says a conversation is “too deep” for them, it typically means they don’t have enough energy to overturn habitual thinking.
Looking at the essence of thoughts ~ 9th Karmapa
Whatever thoughts arise, do not do anything contrived, such as deliberately abandoning or adopting them — look at their very essence.
Even in the greatest yogi, sorrow and joy still arise just as before. The difference between an ordinary person and the yogi is how they view their emotions and react to them.An ordinary person will instinctively accept or reject them, and so arouse the attachment or aversion that will result in the accumulation of negative karma. A yogi, however, perceives everything that rises in its natural, pristine state, without allowing grasping to enter his perception.
from the book “Glimpse After Glimpse: Daily Reflections on Living and Dying”
Get More from Difficult People by Shaping Your Requests as Questions
Whether you’re at work or at home, it can be hard to get information or help from someone who just likes to be difficult. Asking them a question that gets them involved—instead of just being demanding—can help.
When someone is being difficult when you request something from them, it’s likely that disagreeing with you is an instinctive, defensive reaction because they want to feel like a contributing factor and not a lesser individual. When you say something like “Let’s do X,” all you’re opening up for them is two options: “I agree, let’s do X,” or something like “I think Y would be better.” Kate Matsudaira at weblog Dumb Little Man suggests presenting your request in question form instead:
By rephrasing your statement into question “Given the priorities, do you think we should start with Project B instead of Project A?” allows the person to add value with their reply. By inviting them to the conversation, you give them a chance to contribute. If you ask them for their opinion, you are giving them credibility, which actually reduces their need to disagree and resist. You are showing that you value their input by asking for it. By asking questions you can also pique their curiosity, and people who are more curious and interested in what you have to say are a lot less likely to meet you with resistance and disagreement. They’re more likely to want to go along for this amazing ride where they can be a leader, rather than shoot down something they’re worried might be happening without them.
You’re still asking them to get something done, but you’re approaching it in a way that removes confrontation and supplements constructive dialogue. Remember, we’re all difficult to deal with at times, so it’s important to always keep that in mind.